Bullshit Words

In the spirit of George Carlin’s book ‘When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?’ I am becoming more and more aware and therefore irritated by the stupid words and phrases that proliferate our lives. Here are a few:

Alternative Music: Alternative to what? Static? The people who listen to this stuff are a group that corresponds to the baggy pants I don’t conform-to-society-but-lets-not-push-it attitude, who can gleefully say that they have diverse music tastes. Those people also probably have a Bon Jovi CD and say that they like rock music.

Fresh from the farm! Another one. The laboratory that the vegetable was genetically spawned in is located about three thousand miles away on the outskirts of AgraCompanyVille somewhere, is freeze frozen, driven in a truck to a packing depot, unloaded by a snotnosed teenager with a bad cold, dropped into a thawing processor, sprayed with water and placed on a supermarket shelf by another teenager who has about the same I.Q. as the turnips he’s distributing.

It’s not fresh.

Fresh Food: This term in general is utterly stupid. Why do they tell us that it’s fresh food? As opposed to what? The section where they stock the decomposing stuff? The only reason that supermarkets get away with using such an idiotic reference is because most shoppers are actually idiots. They are in such a hypnotic stupor that stating the obvious to them is a plus point in thier heads.

Natural Flavours: I think this means that they squished a lemon that was past its sell-by date, strained all the bits out, span it in a centrefuge and injected it into the drink by means of a syringe. The natural part is the fact that someone spat in it.

More to come.