… but they won’t let me. I actually do want to cast my ballot. I know the whole thing is full of holes (e.g. the huge contributions that Diebold made to the Republicans) but I still want to, just to get rid of the open checkbook that is Congress and at least try to roll back the police-state laws that Bush has instated. We can only hope.
Nope, haven’t been in the country long enough to do my bit. I really wish I could, for the first time in my life. I don’t care if the Cookie Monster gets in, just as long as we get rid of the Republicans. It’s the same ABB crowd(Anyone But Bush) from last time, and the democrats didn’t even have to be that organized this time round, because the Republicans kinda did this to themselves. It’s the same reason that comedy about Bush is almost redundant. Hang around for five minutes and chances are he’ll do something that far more laugh/wince/frustration-worthy than you could ever think of.
In other news:
“Hi, my name is Pastor(ed) Ted Haggard. You might remember me from such movies as ‘Jesus Camp‘ and ‘The Root of all Evil’. I really don’t like gay people. I don’t like atheists. Liberals suck too. In fact, if I had it my way, there would be a lot of people not tolerated in our good god-fearing country, and would probably be stoned to death as the Good Book tells it. God rules. Either that or the Messiah Pat Robertson.
Funny thing is, I have actually been having sex for the past three years with… wait for it… no, not my wife… a male prostitute! Yes! No wait, it was a massage. And blowjob. Same difference.
Turns out I was actually a hypocrite. An ugly, filthy hypocrite.
You know the kind, the one that can’t keep their thirteenth-century beliefs to themselves, but actually goes out and actively destroys other people’s lives in the name of their distorted opinions.
But wait, it gets better.
I bought crystal meth from the same guy! Can you believe that? But I didn’t take it… or did I? My memory gets hazy sometimes. Probably something to do with the meth. But it’s not my fault. Temptation comes in many forms. McDonalds, meth, working on Sundays, male hookers. The work of Satan.
Damn that tricksy Satan. But hate the sin, not the sinner. You see, in being religious, I have long since given up having responsibility for myself. That’s the beauty of it. When I screw up (or down, depending on the position) I’m not guilty! It was the devil all along of course.
Never fear. My loyal sheep, er, I mean my congregation, don’t even think I’m guilty. But they also believe the earth was made in seven days (yes, I mean seven literal days) about six thousand years ago. They’ll believe anything. And they’ll shoot people for it too. Boy I’m so proud of them. I trained them all so well.
Stay in school kids.
Don’t do drugs.”
The face of religious hypocrisy: